Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
