I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize