You just made me feel so damn special
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
