what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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