you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
