Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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