Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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