you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
