You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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