Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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