yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
