So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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