Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We're too hungover to prance.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
