She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize