There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
