I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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