His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize