Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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