Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
