The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
it glows. i had to have it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
