Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
