shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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