If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
