We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
