my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
