Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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