I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
