is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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