i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
