dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
