so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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