watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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