belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
