We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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