hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
