Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
