He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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