do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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