sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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