You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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