How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
