I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
