the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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