But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
do nipples grow back?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
