We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
