i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
