I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
