the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
