What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
