similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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