I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
