I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize