How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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