Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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