dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize