so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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