I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
