And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
