you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
