I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
