dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
