I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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