Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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