I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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