just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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