Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
