theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
