I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
