Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize