And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
