whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
