found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
