We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
