Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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