Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Randomize
