This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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