Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize