I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
