i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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