I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
