what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
